Post rating 2688 Author avatar DeluxeKot 22 June 2021

Hold my beer.

Once at a birthday party for a fellow student, the birthday girl came up to me and told me in confidence that when she's drunk, she has no control over herself and can give. I had nothing better to do than come over to my friends and say, "Hey, guess what I found out!" She ended up having sex that night, but I didn't.

Post rating 3292 Author avatar v403605 19 June 2021

Tales from a sex shop. That was awkward.

As I said before, children are the main headache for the seller of the sex store. Usually they get pregnant on their own, to prove their coolness to their friends, of course. And you go gray. But there are also customers who try to come in with a child. No, no and no. You can't!
Just once I've broken that law. March 8th, it's late afternoon, I'm tired, waiting to close the door and lie down. A man walks in with a boy about 6 or 7 years old. I run towards him, shouting that you can't bring children, about the law, the article.
- Girl, you know, it's night, how can I leave him alone on the street? Well, we have to congratulate my mother.... Well, i-....
I see the man's either messed up or... Whatever. I'm a relationship guy. I'm a relationship guy. I'm a relationship guy. I let him take responsibility. I let the kid sit at my computer, at a high desk, so he could watch cartoons and not look around. Talking to my daddy. Daddy says he's a delivery guy, he couldn't make it to the 23rd, he's not able to make it, his wife is pouting, something didn't work out with the present, well, in short, we have to save him. We find it out, we propose... A history of being a shy, "threadbare" mom, but he'd like something to start with.... Stosh, painting him different light versions of romance with massage oils, edible body paint, sniffing perfume, that sort of thing. In the background, my son is whining about wanting to go to the bathroom.
- Just wait till you get home, there's no toilet here! - Dad couldn't take it anymore.
- Dad, they've got a toilet over there! - The kid yells. And he points to the back of the store where our bathroom is hidden behind the windows. How did you know that? - Dad and I both reacted at the same time.
- I thought I'd caught one of the bastards who'd been terrorizing me and my partner for the last month with their raids, and I was going to tell my dad everything!!!!!!
- And I came here with my mother! -
- And i came here with my mama!
- And i came here with my mama!
- Oh, shit.
-....
- So, what was she buying?!
-
- The kid walks confidently to the window and points to the gorgeous white ponytail.
For the unsophisticated, the ponytail isn't attached, it's inserted.)
- When the fuck...?! -
- Daddy's neck turned red
- Well, the week before yesterday
- About February 23rd ....
Yeah, I know what you mean.
.......
Damn, I probably should have offered a whip, but they ran away so fast.
Anyway, keep your kids away from sex stores

Post rating 14418 Author avatar superedward 3 April 2021

There's something hidden under the jacket...

At the store the other day. After paying for the goods I walk away from the cash register, and the security guard jumps up to me:

- Young man, please unbutton your jacket, because there is a suspicion that you have something hidden under your jacket...


I have nothing to hide, I unbuttoned my jacket - no pity.

- Oh, it's the belly..." The guard nodded satisfaction.


The man lifted my spirits all day long!