Post rating 2345 Author avatar TumaTuma 24 June 2021

The most ridiculous excuses caught cheating wives

1.

Came home early from a business trip, at night, oil painting. Wife asleep with some guy, both naked. Woke them both up. My wife's version: This is my distant, distant relative, I told you nothing about him, he came to visit, I made his bed in the hall, he got cold and came to me to warm up. I frankly laughed. Not only is it summer outside and +29 (at night and even hotter during the day), but men's and women's clothes are scattered all over the bedroom, and by the bed, a coffee table with an empty champagne bottle, two flute glasses and a half-empty box of chocolates. And on the couch in the hall, not even the bedspread was wrinkled. I laughed until it hurt, but still wondered if the relative had frostbite. Then he sent in Santa Claus. While I laughed holding my stomach, he had time to get dressed.

2.

2. I went to pick up my wife at a corporate party and left the car around the corner. I went to their office, they were having fun, I asked where my car was. They nodded at the back, went to dress (during office hours, the staff there drinking tea, well as a locker room used), opened the door and ah... what a plot. The guy (their new employee), kissing my wife, got her hand into her underpants. I coughed loudly, both flinched, my wife pushed the guy away. When I asked what was going on, my wife said: I got something in my underpants and it really stung, and ****** (I am not naming names, you understand, otherwise they will sue me) helped me get this prick... My wife could not answer the question why they kissed me with a hickey.

3.

I went home in the afternoon, left for work in the morning and forgot my purse with my documents, money, and driver's license. Thankfully the traffic police were not caught. I opened the door, I went into the corridor and was about to call my wife, but... I heard "erotic sounds" from behind the closed kitchen door, I went to the kitchen. I open the kitchen door, my wife in an open robe on her bare body and fishnet stockings, takes off her panties. When my wife sees me, she says: He is a gas service employee, he came to check the gas, he wanted to seduce me and stripped naked, I told him that I am married and I love my husband. I just help him put his underpants on. Anyway, I escorted the "gas station employee" out, and at the same time I asked him to take his wife with him. There were tears and moaning that I had got it all wrong and other stuff about love till the grave and that I should trust her.

4.

For a long time I suspected that my wife was cheating on me, but there was no proof. I decided to hire someone to "keep an eye on her. Three days later I had the result. In the evening, I waited for my wife to come home from work. She came home. She had dinner, and then I confronted her. The legend was that it was not her, that it was her twin sister (as far as I know, she had no other sisters and brothers, much less twins), who disappeared a long time ago and that this sister periodically appears and builds her intrigues. And even made a tragicomedy that she herself is afraid and worried about herself and her reputation, because the "twin sister" "sets her up" not for the first time. And even when I provided the photo of someone with whom she is in a cafe, in a car and an apartment, and called the name of the man with whom they sit in the same office at work, my wife kept saying that the photo is not her, and missing twin sister. In short, I did not start any more showdown, packed up and left, the good thing was where. I divorced my wife, even though she was against it and kept repeating her own truth, in court she said that they did not see eye to eye.

5.

The husband and his wife went to visit some friends, three couples got together and drank heavily. The apartment was three rooms, so they decided to spend the night, in order not to show up in the middle of the night in a disgraceful state. They went to their rooms and fell asleep.

One of the friends woke up. You know the dryness, and his wife was not around. So he goes to the kitchen for water. And the bathroom light is on and it's locked from the inside. Of course, he starts breaking in. A couple of minutes later, his wife opens the door, and there's one of his friends in the bathroom. The wife with a wet head in her robe, on her bare body, and the friend, though dressed in jeans, but he is also wet.

The wife's first words were, "we were just talking. I was taking a bath, and I forgot to close the door. He came in and we were just talking, nothing happened.

Post rating 5648 Author avatar Emeliy 24 June 2021

Hey, League of Dumbasses, we got one of yours.

A Florida resident succumbed to popular fashion - decided to compile his family tree, find out who his ancestors were and all that. He took a DNA test and waited anxiously for the news. And the news wasn't long in coming!

The guy had been arrested for a rape from 14 years earlier in Tampa Bay. Back then, some sober driver gave a tipsy college girl a ride to her dorm, fucked her in the bathroom, and took off. Police tried to hotwire the rapist with his genetic material, but there was no match.

But it has turned up now, because commercial DNA databases are open to law enforcement and are regularly used to uncover old grouse.

Post rating 2430 Author avatar Gavroshka 23 June 2021

Air conditioning for poor Muscovites)

Not to die in plus 37 in a rented apartment, I have to get kinky. On the left is a fan, on the right - a chair, a basin of water, gauze and a bucket (otherwise the gauze drips on the floor)

P.S. I improved the mechanism a little, and the gauze dried out quickly. And this thing works, even in spite of the growth of humidity in the room. It's much nicer than just under a fan.

Post rating 877 Author avatar dailypurrr 23 June 2021

When a man opens the door and catches you practicing levitation

Post rating 3427 Author avatar sashok9702 24 June 2021

Attention everyone who suffers from the heat in the apartments!

And if you don't have air conditioning:

Please top it!

...Temperatures in Moscow and most parts of Russia climbed to 34.8 degrees on Wednesday, the highest since 1901. Overall, June 2021 breaks records for all 140 years of observation.

Forecasters don't know when temperatures will return to normal....

Therefore:

1. Immediately turn off your bathroom towel racks. Most have them hooked up to hot water and have screws. Shut them off.

2. After completing step 1, pour cold (icy) water into the bathroom to the brim. Leave the door to the bathroom open. The water will heat up - taking the temperature from the air (law of thermodynamics). You will be able to lower the temperature of the apartment by 2-6 degrees (depending on the size of the apartment).

3. the windows on the sunny side should be insulated. Close windows, tulle and curtains. If the windows are on the shady side - you can open them (the stuffiness is worse than the heat).

4. Buy a sprayer on a bottle, and periodically spray water on the curtains, because they become radiators - wet curtains cool a lot when they evaporate. Spray water on the floor as well.

5. Terry towel - wet it with cold (not ice cold) water and dip your body and head. Walk around the house barefoot.

6. If you have someone lying at home (a sick person, grandmother) put a wet towel on his hip - the towel drying cools the arteries and lowers the blood temperature. Note that in the heat the maximum mortality of the elderly and the bedridden from overheating.

7. At night, open windows as much as possible, and cool your apartment. Do not be afraid of insects-they are inactive now, too. In the morning, continue to fight against point 1.

8. 8. use hardening - contrast showers. Tempering is very useful. Thermoregulation will recover and will save you.

9. Do not eat fatty foods and do not drink strong alcohol. Pepsi and Fanta will not help you, drink water.

Be healthy and strong!

Post rating 3112 Author avatar alexmix 23 June 2021

This is what snow on Netflix should look like now

Post rating 2571 Author avatar Palesmurt 22 June 2021

Join our ranks

One day, when I was a student, a friend and I called two college girls we knew to go out. We took them to a bar, played billiards, got pretty well drunk with everybody.
Girls called us to their place (they rented an apartment for two). We didn't refuse, so we went.
And a friend and one of the girls asked me and another girl to "go for a walk". We wandered around for about half an hour, and then the friend called me and said we could come over.
We came over, and they got ready to go out for half an hour too.
I was so dumb that I didn't understand what all the action was about, so me and that girl were just chatting away. But when the other part of the group came back, my date got sad. I never saw her again, and my friend told me I was an idiot.

Post rating 2688 Author avatar DeluxeKot 22 June 2021

Hold my beer.

Once at a birthday party for a fellow student, the birthday girl came up to me and told me in confidence that when she's drunk, she has no control over herself and can give. I had nothing better to do than come over to my friends and say, "Hey, guess what I found out!" She ended up having sex that night, but I didn't.

Post rating 4315 Author avatar CardboardHero 22 June 2021

Adult Industry News

Post rating 4601 Author avatar GannibalLecter 22 June 2021

Happy Birthday, Mom and Dad

- How come they have a birthday on the same day?

- They're twins.

Post rating 2796 Author avatar Kshishtov 21 June 2021

Control Question

I yelled at the stupidity of my past self when I was restoring an old post and saw the control question, "how old am I?"

The answer, by brute force, came up as "13."

I wasn't very bright the other day.

Post rating 3697 Author avatar BCN23 21 June 2021

Idea for the office

I found this picture from the office. I don't know about efficiency, but I would use red ones during normal times.

Translation:
Green - don't mind hugs and high fives
Yellow - don't mind talking, but against touching
Red - prefer to keep my distance

Post rating 12389 Author avatar PYCCKuu64 21 June 2021

Floyd's statue has had a banana in his hand for the second day

Post rating 3319 Author avatar sertifikat 21 June 2021

A second-grader heard the word "sex" on TV, Googled it, watched a lot of porn, and decided to try it with her friends from school

It even worked out with one.

In Primorsky Krai, the mother of an 8-year-old girl contacted the police and reported that her daughter had been raped by an unknown man. Investigators began an investigation. But it turned out that the schoolgirl herself was the initiator.

After the day camp at the school, the younger girl offered her friends, boys aged 8 and 10, to have the same sex. The children went to the construction site, watched the porn on their phones one more time and began to repeat after the characters. The younger boy did not succeed, the older one - "partially".

None of the three boys reached the age of criminal responsibility, that is why all of them were placed on the register of the PDP.

The young seductress is planned to be taken to a psychiatrist, after which the family intends to move to another city. The girl's parents consider what happened to be a disgrace. The schoolgirl's mother confessed - she saw in her browser history that someone was sitting on porn sites, but she was sure it was her husband and she threw tantrums at him.

*(Moderator clears throat)

Post rating 3019 Author avatar haalward 20 June 2021

Interesting Initiative

New York's homeless will start paying $1250 a month (about 90,000 rubles).

Only if they would get off the streets and find a job. That's the idea. They took 40 young homeless people into the program to begin with.


Each one will get $1250 for two years. How he spends it is up to him. But the recommendation is to try to use the money to get back to a normal life. If you need help with housing, there's money for that.


The authorities of New York want to understand if there is any chance at all to reduce the population of the city's homeless and if so, what it will cost them.

Post rating 2232 Author avatar llirik82 13 June 2021

I'm trying to get some sleep on a Sunday morning. My upstairs neighbors:

Post rating 1966 Author avatar IamGunner 20 June 2021

Got my attention

Post rating 825 Author avatar Alenkachoko 19 June 2021

Grand Canyon,down to the bottom

The Grand Canyon was the attraction of my dreams. I absolutely wanted to not only see it, but to spend the night in the canyon, and ideally to go down to the bottom.

Now the time had come.

Post rating 3619 Author avatar dima690063 19 June 2021

Тысячи венгерских болельщиков прошли с баннером против преклонения колена на Евро-2020

Болельщики сборной Венгрии перед матчем второго тура группового этапа Евро-2020 с Францией (1:1) показали баннер против преклонения колена и акции BLM. Тысячи венгров пронесли баннер по улицам Будапешта. В руках у болельщиков было зачёркнутое изображение человека, который преклонил колено.

*Удалено модератором*

Post rating 2139 Author avatar Estrella.keeper 19 June 2021

Portugal scored four, conceded four and lost to Germany

The Portugal vs. Germany match has been the most productive at Euro 2020 so far. Germany won with a score of 4:2, with the Germans scored only twice and the Portuguese - four times, though the reigning European champions sent two goals into their own net.